Sorry

I have so many pictures to post on here and write about, but I just never seem to have time. Sadly, when I do, I don't have the tools to do so. I will do so as soon as I figure out all this and have some time. A lot has happened in the last few months, and I'm sure my rabid readers are just sweating with anticipation to hear about.


Laurel

Truths

Not for the faint of heart.

Here's a few things you may or may not know about me that aren't "kosher" in some circles...

1. I laugh at jokes that some (ahem, most) people
would find offensive or sick. Example:

2. I hate, and I mean HATE or for lack of a better word, ABSOLUTELY LOATHE the sound children singing. ESPECIALLY songs such as "Jesus Loves the Little Children" and "Jesus Loves Me." Why? It could be that the combination of their terrible harmonizing skills and badly written songs just "strike a bad note" with me, but it's time you know this.

3. Chewing gum is disgusting. It is both repugnant and repulsive. I just thought you should know how I really feel. Avoid doing it in my presence, because I won't be listening to a word you're saying, I'll just be counting the seconds until you spit (another nasty habit) that shit into the trash. Honestly, I'm just trying to out these things now, just so I don't randomly blow up on you on one of those "last straw" days...

4. For some reason I do not find children's everyday achievements........ interesting. " Look! He/she can read!" Well, frankly, in this society, he/she has to learn sometime to survive. It's a necessity and everyone needs to learn.
"Ohh he/she can eat with a fork now!! Isn't that cool? Isn't that neat!?!" No, no, it's not. Whether or not he/she can eat with a fork is not a concern of mine.

5. I swear like a sailor. Some of you know this, and I know who finds it disagreeable and who doesn't. Please note that those of you who don't like it should note that I do TRY VERY HARD not to do it in your presence. Be thankful. Now I've heard all the arguments against the swearing, and I have one thing to say. For the Christians I know, swears are MAN'S INVENTION. The only swear to God is taking the Lord's name in vain. Also, if you use words like, "poo" or "darn" or "fudge" in place of so-called swear words, it's just like saying the word! You mean the same thing, whether or not you use the word itself or not doesn't matter, what matters that you meant in the "wrong" way. Consider that.

6. I know I'm not always easy to get along with. I have a hard time dealing with myself sometimes so I feel your pain.

7. I am an independent. Politically speaking. Wanna know who I'd vote for? A horses ass, because it would do better to have something that can't make any decisions in office than someone who is incompetent in office or a figure head/pawn. Just my opinion.

8. I find nothing wrong with porn or erotic literature. That's just my opinion.

9. I find nothing wrong with gays/trannys/homosexuals/hermaphrodites. Except the ones with OBNOXIOUS lisps they didn't previously have....

10. I find only one thing wrong with weed. It makes people a bit unproductive, and some more than others. On the other hand, it helps some with social disorders and depression. Use responsibly, that's all I can say, not while you're driving, and not while you're working.

I suppose that's enough shock for one day.

Laurel

Much to Blog About

I moved.

I got a job.

I got a parking ticket. (my first!)

I found and apartment.





More to come.

Brillant

More to Come.

Laurel

5K Dog Walk for Monroe County Humane Societies

Meant to be posted June 10th, 2011. (day of the race).

Even though I have stopped running again (mainly due to depression) I decided to run/walk with Elvis on this dog walk. I also managed to convince my friend Becca and her dog Egor to come with us.

So here's the group of about 100-150 people and their dogs waiting for the signal to start. I think Elvis had a crush on that little boxer toward the right in the first picture. He kept looking at her, nudging me and looking at me, then looking back at her... As if to say, " Pretty nice, eh? Why don't we go over there?"



And they're off!!!

Here's my view of Elvis.
To the right of us we see Becca and Egor.


Overall, it was pretty nice, not too hot and it didn't rain until the end. I had some severe certain (monthly) cramps that prevented me from making it to first, so we just brought up the rear, or as
my brother calls it DFL.


The award for biggest dog doesn't go to Elvis as Becca and I thought, but to these two GIGANTIC Great Danes... Like a head taller than Elvis.


Here we are after the race, waiting for the prizes that were being drawn. Becca won a free oil change. I didn't realize this until later, but doesn't Becca look like Elvis is about to eat her?! Classic.


Elvis was fine until I did this.... he was like, "Laurel!! Not in front of the boxer!!!" Even the lady behind us was embarrassed by the PDA.


After the race Becca and I split a pizza and gave some of the crusts to Elvis and Egor.
I also found out that day that Elvis LOVES Corn Nuts and their loud crunching properties.

Laurel

Tidbits of Iowa Culture 2

I have seen some curious things in the past month and here's a few I've taken pics of.


Here we see an Amish cart with horses parked at the local Pamida. When I came back out of the store all that was left was two large steaming piles in the middle of the parking lot.


The Amish strike again in this ridiculous picture! A couple Amish men and their sons pile out of this Lincoln. This alone is hilarious, but why on earth do they have that decal on the grill? These Amish are livin on the edge, and they like their Lincoln grills raunchy. "An Amish with a 'tude, you know that's unheard of!"

















I have seen this common mode of transportation frequently, but only just have managed to capture it. It seems Iowans have decided that riding lawn mowers are the best way to get around in town. I've seen them driven to the post office, the grocery store, Pizza Hut, and my personal favorite, the local tavern. Here's one now on his way back from the gas station at which he filled up and purchased a doughnut.

This next picture is sadly blurry, much like the infamous Sasquatch picture. This photo is of a man with VERY peculiar side burns.... his are not vertical, but horizontal and in the center of the side of his face. He was in Centerville, IA, and was walking while muttering about "the margarine... the margarine..."

I've included another picture of what he would have looked up close to give you a better idea.

Very odd...

Lastly, I wanted to include my Uncle's awesome set up for his wireless headset...
A very clever use of painter's tape and a zip-tie. Just awesome.












Laurel

PERMED

So, on a completely random whim, I permed my hair. When I first looked into the mirror after wards my expression went from this:
to this:

to questioning disgust:
to asking god "Why?":
to attempting to pull it strait:
to using humor to cover up true feelings:


Then this happened.


Yeah, that just happened.


Laurel

P.S. I think I'll keep the curls after all...