I was recently pulled over by the fuzz. I also recently had my wallet stolen.... two unfortunate happenings that occurred in the same week... great, just great.
Here's the back story.. I had been working for Kirby (more volunteering than working) for the past week and a half. I worked myself to death for 14 hours a day at that time, catching a fever of 101 and keeping it for the last 3 days of my employment there plus several days after. (yes, I worked 14 hours a day with a fever... it's call work ethic!)
Needless to say, I was absolutely exhausted, and not to mention I had some terrible coughing and hacking fits every 10 minutes. It was about 11 pm, and I was just trying to get home as I drove in my miserable state down US-24.
I have a coughing fit, keep driving, I notice that a car has been closely following me for about 10 miles... I have another coughing fit... look behind me and notice that a police car is flashing its lights. I think to myself, "Ohh, I really need this..." and pull to the shoulder.
I look like this:
He comes up to the window holding this giant flashlight that is pointed right into my eyes, so I am temporarily blinded and of course my automatic reaction is that I want to see this person instead of a blinding light so I automatically say, "Will you hold that thing lower please?"
He doesn't lower it.
"Mam, you were wobbling all over the road, can I see your license, proof of insurance, and registration please?"
I say, "Actually I recently had my wallet stolen, which contained my license..." He cuts me off, " Let me see your registration and insurance then."
I reach into the glove compartment and find only my registration.... "ermm...." I say, "Just as second.."
I rummage around despairingly.
I can't find it.
"I don't know where it is.. I thought I put in right into the glove compartment.." I ramble on, " I'm so sick and exhausted, I've been working 14 hours a day at this new job...."
"Step out of the car please..." he cuts me off.
"What?!" I ask, bewildered.
"Step out of the car please.."
I get out of the car.
I notice he's a larger (as in chunky) officer with a yellow-blonde crew cut and a brown mustache. "Odd.." I think to myself...
"Hold your hands out strait across and put your finger to your nose."
"Hold on," I say, "I haven't been drinking, I swear." I state plainly, with my arms out-stretched.
"Put your finger to your nose."
I do it.
"Say your alphabet backwards."
I look at him incredulously.... "What?!! Nobody can do that anytime, certainly not me."
"You can start at Z."
I try to do it and fail horribly, "...Z, Y, X.....W.....V I think... Uhmmm"
I feel like a complete idiot.
"Just stop, please walk in a strait line putting one foot in front of the other."
I do so.
"Clearly you aren't inebriated.." He looks proud for using a big word, "Please get back into your vehicle and wait while I process this."
I get back in... humiliated and feeling like a dumbass.
I wait what feels like a half an hour, and he comes back. He tells me that since I don't have proof of insurance I have to "wait my turn" and go to court at the appointed time (June 2, 10 am) or else I'll get a warrant put out for me and I will go to jail. He gives me this paper.
And leaves, telling me to drive more carefully.
Later, as I'm reading this thing, I notice this:
My driver's license has the weight 165 on it....
and my eyes are CLEARLY GREEN.
179?!?!???!?!?!? Ass.
Laurel
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